October 6th: Ruination Day

So. It’s been exactly one year since I came home expecting a nice hot bath and found my ceiling on my goddamn floor. That turned out to be the high point of the last 366 days (Leap year! One bonus extra day of misery!); at least we were giddy and insane with grief at that point. The ensuing incompetence, maliciousness, and random bad luck that followed aged and embittered us enough to fill therapists pockets for years to come. But it’s been a year. The acceptable period of grief is over. The unfortunate legal battles and insurance bullshit is not, but there comes a point where we either get sucked under by it or we move on with our lives.

But I am still sad. And unmotivated. I have terrible first world problems like hating our house. Every little detail from the reno represents some sort of loud discussion compromise or hasty decision we had to make. We keep trying to divert our attention to fun things, but you can only go to so many amusement parks before you figure out that amusement parks are creepy and contribute to malaise. My hobbies are emotional eating and insomnia. Basically, I am in a giant rut. And this time I don’t have any cow bones or a spirited little partner to help me out of it.

But the time for that is over too. I need a goddamn plan. Although I mostly feel like laying down most of the day, I am tired of feeling that way. Being the proactive beast I am, I drank a bottle of a very small quantity of wine for inspiration (and perhaps a whole lot of a teeny amount of Balvenie Double Wood.. heh, insert adolescent sex joke here) and concocted one.

A Rollergiraffe’s 7 Point Plan for the Future

1. Get a damn job. I need to use my brain again and earn some money. This is likely going to be in the industry I worked in pre-kids, without the benefit of the last four years of training, networking and general career trajectory. And I would have to go to interviews which make me sweat and self-deprecate. I am still a little traumatized from getting laid off by voicemail from my last job, and I have no filters left that will allow me to function in an office setting. I might try to give my co-workers time outs when they disagree with me. Ok, so this might not work out in a hurry.

2. Do charity work. In the absence of a paying job, I should be giving back to the community. I am pretty sure I have a lot to offer in this regard, with my environmental experience and all. Right? It doesn’t matter that the only journal I read in the last four years is US Weekly, right? People are dying for celebrity news, aren’t they? And I would need to pay for child care to do charity work which .. or I could do it in the evenings, right? After the kids go to bed and the house is somewhat restored from the garbage dump look we’ve adopted through the day? Ok, so this one’s out too for now.

3. Exact revenge on the contractor fuckstick weasel who wrecked our house and tried to ruin our lives. This one is just a fantasy. He’s already sitting on a heap of debt, both karmic and financial. And I am an adult who is able to control their emotions (totally not true except for the legal adult part). Plus, I am way too lazy to do a good job, so I’d just basically annoy him a little and then end up on Canada’s Stupidest Criminals, if such a show exists.

4. Become a domestic goddess. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nope.

5. I am still laughing over the domestic goddess thing. Mount Washmore is so goddamn high, you guys.

6. Spend time preparing for the zombie apocalypse. I am on Love and Lunchmeat’s Zombie apocalypse team (even if I can’t figure out how to put badges on my blog. Fuckballs, I am hopeless at the internets), so I am sure this would be a worthwhile endeavor. If it’s not the zombies, it’s going to be something. Except all that canning I did totally went to waste and my shoulder is ruined from carrying twins around all day so I am not sure improving my marksmanship is really a good idea. And every time I think about the apocalypse I think about The Road, and I am not sure at this point in my life I would be the one who filled the bathtub when the loud noises were heard. My survival instinct is kind of dull right now, is what I am saying.

I was only ever good at shooting quarters anyway.

7. Have another baby. Because less sleep is totally the answer.

So obviously I have no plan. Tell me, gentle readers, have you ever been stuck in a rut before? How did you get out? Do you think I should keep my hair short? Why does Mitt Romney want to fire Big Bird? What is your favourite snack? Why isn’t anyone talking about the Higgs Boson anymore? Is it because they accidentally made themselves a big black hole? Answer any of these questions below in the comments.

P.S. If you read the Ringmistress’ blog, Laments and Lullabies, a 35 year old having a mid-life crisis will sound disturbingly familiar to you. I totally drunken plagiarized her, and then apologized, but she laughed at me and told me to post it anyway because she’s amazing that way. And lots of other ways too.


  1. Roller Giraffe,
    Seems vaguely familiar… Much better than when we’ve chatted about it. One could think you’re a fucking good writer, y’know?
    Le Clown

  2. Your 7-point plan gave me more hope for the future than Wednesday night’s US presidential debate, because yours is both realistic and not full of shit.

    Mitt Romney wants to fire Big Bird because he hates Jews, and is made of moldy steak. And as for ruts, I live in those! The view is great, the rent is cheap.

    I agree with Le Clown– you’re a fucking good writer. So even if your plan gets buried, I vote you continue to execute on that talent. And maybe train the twins for the zombie apocalypse…

    1. I actually have a friend who has trained her young twins for the zombie apocalypse for real. Maybe she can teach me her methods… although she’ll probably just tell me all the wrong things so she can steal my supplies.

      1. Maybe you two could coordinate your sets of twinnies and make a toddler zombie fight club, like that daycare in Delaware?
        (True story!)

  3. One is never too young for a midlife crisis. I’m having one at 33. I attempted to tone it down on my own blog, but I spent the last two years taking evil nursing pre-reqs only to back out after I started clinicals… And I was doing it largely because I wasn’t sure how else to re-enter the workforce. And since my grades were good I just kept going with it.

    This Fall I realized I hated it, that the actual responsibilities of nursing (paperwork, medications, and constantly being on the lookout for what could turn into legal issues…) would make for constant stress. Also, going to school full-time and then coming home to your family (while homework still hangs over your head) is extremely stressful. Part of me realized in some ways I might be happier digging ditches (as long as I was able to actually leave work at work). My husband is extremely unhappy with the decision though, and it honestly wasn’t too much when it was part-time. Aack.

    As for your contractor, accidents happen… And he sounds like the perfect candidate for target practice. Also, a lot of people will go mysteriously missing when the Apocalypse comes… if literature has taught me anything, it’s that timing is everything. Perhaps you could steal some of his non-perishables as well as exacting revenge?

    Would it be inappropriate for me to say that rutting may be normal? Okay, I’ll rephrase. I think it might be normal to get stuck in ruts, that just as the economy has highs and lows so will we. And that’s why I like to keep a large stock of tequila on hand. Kidding. Mostly.

    P.S. Your drunken blog posts are better than most posts written dead sober. And sorry for leaving a novel.

    1. I am sorry that you have been going through the same sort of struggle, but glad you’re finding your way through it. It is terribly complicated to manage both family and spouse demands while balancing out your own needs. I don’t think there’s ever really a right answer.. would it be worth it if you put in all the work and stressed yourself out? Probably. Is it fine to admit that it’s not the right thing for you and move in a different direction? Yes. Should I be providing any advice in this regard? Unqualified no. Let’s just drink some tequila and agree that life is hard.
      Also, your comments on timing and people disappearing are making the apocalypse look more attractive all the time.

      1. The Zombie Apocalypse will probably work better than any government ever could at reorganization.

        Yeah, when I first started feeling this way about school, I realized this must be exactly how my friends who work and have little kids must feel all the time. I have one friend who was promoted 6 times in the last ten years and her cell phone never stops ringing with work calls, even on Friday and Saturday nights. It would be comical if she wasn’t always so stressed, but between work, working out, chores, a 3-year-old, a six-month-old, and a husband… She basically crams 26 hours into a 24-hour day.

        I think what Alice said about moms being screwed either way is basically true. If you’re stay-at-home, you feel useless for not working. And those who work end up feeling bad for not being at home with their kids.

        1. Yeah, that mom guilt is powerful stuff, and it’s hard to navigate all those life decisions when you have that in the mix.
          At any rate it sounds as though it’s rutting season for both of us. Perhaps when we are done rutting we’ll feel all powerful and on top of the world. You are totally right about one thing: rutting is the wrong word choice.

          1. I know. There’s really nothing better than a word used mainly for barn animals. Thankfully, my husband already knows that I melt when romances me with words like “rutting”.

          2. I know. There’s really nothing better than a word used mainly for barn animals. Thankfully, my husband already knows that I melt when he romances me with words like “rutting”.

  4. Keep your hair short it is easier and less work
    I won’t comment on Mitt and big bird because politics suck
    Rut? join the shit hole of life.. and keep writing because you are making me feel normal.
    my favorite snack? Anything is Snacktastically good
    Zombies?–think Shaun of the Dead (have you seen this movie?)not The Road(wow that book?!)
    You are not completely gone if you can reference Higgs Boson and damn you can write..do keep plugging along. After all Le Clown loves you (grin)
    (I love the word Fuckballs)

    1. Shaun of the Dead! That is way more uplifting than the Road. Maybe I need to watch it again to reset my frame of reference. For cognitive behavioural therapy purposes, of course.
      And that Le Clown, what a guy! I am not sure if I should be worried as he also got really enthusiastic about a guy who played the piano with a phone book. Which, incidentally, is also how I typed this post.

  5. Oh crap. I forgot to answer your questions. My favorite snack is Tequila. Mitt doesn’t like publicly funding PBS, and short hair rocks. I know nothing about black holes, but I suspect they are freudian in nature. We can probably blame them for just about anything.

  6. my advice? pick one small thing that makes you happy and healthy and do it. and then do another thing, and another, and keep stringing them together… AND YOU KNOW THE ANSWER IS TO DO MORE YOGA!!!!!!!!!!

    1. YOGA! Yes. Totally. And I think you are spot on about finding one small thing at a time. I get hung up on finding “the” answer, when I should really just be chipping away at it. Wise words, friend.

  7. I have been stuck in a rut before. I think, just recognizing that you’re in one is the first step towards getting out. Then, you just start making a few day by day choices until you recognize that life is a little better, then a little better and finally you can look back on it all and realize you’re not in it anymore.

    1. So true; part of the challenge for me has been trying to tackle it all at once, and then I just want to go and lie down again. And clearly, if you’ve been in a rut and you’re as amazing as you are now, there’s hope!

          1. Thank you! You know, I was just thinking today that I need to do that. I know what you mean about long overdue! Maybe this weekend…

  8. I once found my bathroom ceiling in my bath tub. Thanks for bringing back that memory … I hope you do hit on a way to escape your rut. Maybe you can either work or volunteer your writing services to the Calgary Board of Tourism. Or just write the ultimate Calgary travel guide on your own? Write about the benefits of Vitamin D deficiency and snow ten months a year.

    1. Ceilings not in their specified location are really disconcerting. Now I can’t even use the tub because the sound of it draining makes me want to lay on the floor in a cold sweat.
      I have a good friend who runs a tour company. I bet I could sell the hell out of Snow in October and scurvy from trying to be a locavore in Alberta for him.

    1. And that Curmudgeon, is why you’re one of my favourite people of all time. Does that sound a little too familiar for someone I have never met? I don’t care.. it’s the Balvenie talking.

  9. Balvenie does tend to make everything look just a little better, no?

    Ruts are inevitable. Sorry about your shitty contractor. The worst thing (second worst?) after being cheated and lied to and having to pay $$$ for the privilege is now living in a place you are not happy with. I’d suggest doing whatever you can to revive it and feel happier there. Home is meant to be a refuge, not a nightmare.

    1. Balvenie is better than most pharmaceuticals. And you’re right, the house is the big question we have to wrestle with over the next few months. It’s especially hard not having a sanctuary when I am at home all day with the kids. But we’ll get there.
      It’s nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    1. Ha! If you read some of my other posts you’ll find my writing usually has the opposite effect on employability.
      Welcome! And thank you for reading and commenting.

    1. Netflix is the patron saint of ruts, isn’t it? You can while away so many hours…
      I am sorry that you understand, but I am glad you’re here. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

  10. I’d say focus on the fuckstick weasel, that’s just who I am. Love the post.
    Is this “let’s Fresh Press everyone in the Canadian Fun Club month?” WTF? I always wanted to move north anyway. Love your blog, can’t wait to backtrack on it…oh, and congrats!

    1. I would, but I am worried that he’ll steal my soul if I look at him too long. He’s that type of charming individual.

      Move on north! The Canadian Fun Club is accepting new members all the time. I am fortunate to be on the same FP page as two dear blogging friends (saradraws and Le Clown) who also happen to be married to each other. I feel like a bit of a third wheel to be honest.

      I am glad you stopped by and commented, look forward to reading you as well.

    2. Duh, you have the bloggers for Movember on your blog. You know all about Le Clown and the Ringmistress. Frankly, who doesn’t?

      1. Every day I find another branch of funny in this club. I love my new friends! I wouldn’t say third wheel, I’d say tricycle. A much more stable mode of travel. The funny in your work is intimidating, Thanks for checking out my blog, I will work on being less fucking serious and more fucking funny!

  11. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! Looks like Le Clown has been recognized and is taking some of his best with him! Awesome. For those of you just reading her, you should have been here a long time ago. Good stuff.

  12. The first step out of a rut is seeing that you are in one! I had a bad year once, my 20th was the worst of my life. This year is coming close to being uber craptastic, going thru divorce and all. Maybe you should take inventory of the good things you have right now, then think about what you want in addition to that. Make a goal poster and stick it on your bathroom door, like a chore chart with stickers for the kids. Just thinking like a mom here, give yourself a break, shit happens and you can get out of this rut. I started my own bakery in my house to get out of a rut and make myself happy and useful. I love to share my cookies, breads, anything sweet really – best therapy ever!

    1. A divorce does sound uber craptastic, and I am terribly sorry about that. You are on to something employing the mom skills.. I can totally talk my kids down from the edge over toast cut in the wrong shape.. and if that kind of mental turnaround is possible then surely I possess the skills to do that for myself. I love that you started your own bakery; very inspiring.
      Thanks for checking this post out and commenting!

  13. Roller Giraffe,
    Hey you spoke about doing charity. i may have a suggestion for you. My wife and I just started a non-charity , lol. i know it sounds funny, but seriously. We call it the KICMovement, and you can find us a KICMovement.wordpress.com We go around giving people free stuff, or doing random acts of kindness, in hopes that it will catch on. I know it’s not original, but this is our way of giving back, because we all know most charities line their pockets with the free money before they dish it out. Habitat for humanity is a great example of a rip off charity.


    1. Such a great idea, and I love that you and your wife started a blog over it! I do believe that putting good things out there in the world brings all kinds of good things back, so I see much coming back to you.

  14. The whole ceiling crash sounds so Breaking Bad (have you checked for a meth lab?). I’m sorry, that probably doesn’t ease any of your worries, does it? Pour yourself a nice Tequila (thank you for asking, I adore Tito’s Vodka) and pick one thing from the rut to focus on. Do what makes your life easier, including short hair. Get rid of the mirrors if you don’t like the haircut; if you can’t see it, it doesn’t exist and there are other ways to determine if vampires are in the vicinity. Congrats on Fresh Press; I hope it’s given you a hover-above-the-rut moment.

    1. At least if it was a meth lab there would have been some potential revenue. But as it was, it was just a very expensive bathroom reno that went horribly awry. Sigh. And cheers! It’s still morning here, but I am going to follow that tequila advice anyway.
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. The FP is pretty fun and turning into a party!

  15. So that was you I tripped over in the dark while I was trying to get out of this rut we are in! You had me at Leap Year bringing an extra day of misery. Hopefully, my year will be up in early December. Maybe if you stand on my shoulders we can climb our way out of here–I don’t like this place. Can you protect me from the zombicalypse?

    Congrats on the FP

    1. It is kind of scary in here, isn’t it? But it’s at least somewhat comforting to know that we’re not alone. Once we get out I have your back against zombies. I am not letting those a-holes bring me down once I am back on my feet again.
      Thank you for reading and commenting, I am having a blast meeting everyone today.

  16. You are a hilariously honest and amazing writer. Yeah, I’ve been in that fuck of a rut, and you just have to climb out and start moving again. Make shit happen, one little thing at a time. It takes time, it takes desire, and if all else fails, just think about doing all those things while you lay in bed eating pizza and neglecting the laundry.

    1. Thank you Tracy, that means a lot coming from someone as hilarious and candid as yourself. I do think that momentum is key here.. and once I get it again there will be no stopping me. In the meantime, I will keep pizza on speed dial and the laundry, well fuck, I am never going to let laundry slow me down.

  17. Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! I’m laughing all through your post…Fuckballs is a good word, along with fuckstick. Seriously, I can relate on many levels as I’m in a rut myself, trying to get back into the workforce after kids. I never thought it would be so hard. You’re a fabulous writer!! I hope that lifts your spirits.

    1. Yes, I guess I busted through the myth that WordPress doesn’t like the fuck word. I am sorry that you’re in a rut too. It seems as though many people who have commented here are in one, and I guess we can just all be grateful that it’s normal? No, eff it, I am not grateful.. I just want out. But anyway, stick around and we’ll all figure a way out together. Thank you for reading and commenting!

      1. Oh, yes. Now the whole world can read and enjoy the barn metaphors… If you see anything too horrible, please edit out, but I don’t think I said anything too horrible. Am VERY curious what others will say about moms rejoining the work force.

        1. I don’t think you said anything horrible at all.. but I kind of love you, so I am biased. Did you know that you’re on my blogrool, which I finally put up after fretting for way too long.

          1. Thank you! I just added you and a couple others to mine too. I probably forgot people though. So I did it very very quietly. Actually, I definitely forgot people… off to make more links.

        2. BEST YOUR LIFE Change Your Life NOW! Mastermind Group I was suggested this blog by my coiusn. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re amazing! Thanks! your article about BEST YOUR LIFE Change Your Life NOW! Mastermind GroupBest Regards Shane

  18. Congrats on the FP! I came over here from the post you wrote on Canadica! Your seven point plan seems more feasible than any deficit reduction plan put forth by the presidential candidates. Good luck on that! To answer one of your questions: my favorite snack is the Starbucks banana pound cake. I could live for years on it!

    1. That must be another difference between Canada and the US; I don’t think we have banana pound cake at SB here. You guys get all the good stuff.
      Thanks for coming on over and commenting!

  19. I think actively trying to get out of a rut is like trying to swim against a riptide. You just need to go with it. Don’t panic.
    Nice post. And congrats on being pressed. Freshly!

    1. Having been stuck in a literal mud-filled rut before, I can testify that panicking only makes things worse.
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting.. it has been so much fun having new bloggers stop by!

    1. That is true! My dad used to carve and we always had freaky dead ducks and such in our freezer for his models. He did seem relaxed in those days, so maybe you’re on to something.

      1. non-sense, you are a halloween-coloured healthy beverage that tastes amazing– one that us mere mortals will never be able to afford.

          1. I am a poet… words are my natural currency… I hear other people are actually good at life. I find that shocking.

  20. To get out of a rut, take 15 minutes a day, every day, reading a book. Not a fiction novel, but a book that is meant to teach you something about life, happiness, success, or whatever you really want. I highly recommend “Being Happy” by Andrew Matthews and “It Takes 15 Minutes to Change Your Life” by *cough* Matt S. Law.

    1. You know, a year ago I would have scoffed at the suggestion of self-help books, but if I have learned anything at all this year it is to be open and to try everything. And obviously one thing that I need to do is change my habits. I am going to check out your titles.
      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    1. It sure can be. The best we can do is plow through and try and have some fun with it.
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

  21. LOVE how you decided AGAINST being a domestic goddess!! Good choice. LOL!! PS, my friends and I have updated our “Living Will” to include a “Non-Living” clause in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse (determined one night over several bottles of wine, of course!!) we are allowed to kill the friend who turns into a zombie. Haaaa!! Hang in there… this… like any other icky time… will pass too!! Good luck!!

    1. Truly the choice not to live the Pinterest lifestyle was made for me. I have no skillz.
      I love that you have a non-living will. I am totally going to steal that and bring it up with my family. I already instructed them to just kindly set me out in the snow in the event of dementia or similar.

  22. RG, congrats on your FP status — you’re very deserving and I visited your Canadica post today. My post (on Canadica) is next week and I’m intimidated by the talents before me. But this is about YOU, so forgive my insecurities and again, congrats!!!!

    1. Thank you Brigitte! And also for the Canadica post, which I need to roam over and see. I felt the same way posting on Canadica. SM has assembled a very fine and intimidating group of folks, but I have no doubt that your post will be amazing.

  23. Absolutely…keep your hair short. Do you really want to add drying and styling to the list of daily activities. It takes time away from creating an in-home garbage dump. But then again, if you grew it long, you would have a noose for the fuckstick weasel when it’s time for that revenge.

      1. Girl, I’ve been in your shoes through high shocol and some of college and even sometimes to this day. And I don’t have any deep life changing words of inspiration or what not, but we’re all human and none of us are perfect and even those super pop folks we wish we could be have issues and problems. It’s OK to not feel awesome all the time, as long as you do feel awesome some of the time.(Good luck with the potential jobs!)

        1. 1b8BEST YOUR LIFE Change Your Life NOW! Mastermind Group I was recommended this web site by my coisun. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my difficulty. You’re amazing! Thanks! your article about BEST YOUR LIFE Change Your Life NOW! Mastermind GroupBest Regards Yoder

  24. I think this “angst” can get you at any point in life: what the F am I doing? What if I die tomorrow? I sure have felt like that before…at least your taking it with wine, I mean, humor.

    Mitt Romney doesn’t like Big Bird, because there’s a real human inside.

    1. HA! The Romney comment made me laugh. Maybe if it was a rich white male human he’d change his mind.
      And yes, I fear the angst is universal, and therefore normal.
      Thanks stopping in to read and comment. Very much appreciated.

  25. Love this my son who’s six has big thing about zombies I blame my iPhone for starting this as he found plants vs zombies then babysitter never checked the boys where asleep before putting on night of the living dead and school found him googling how to kill a zombie laugh out loud. Your seven point plan sounds bit life mine with the takes to much thinking or planning to do any thing.

    1. I fear my kids are going to be a bit precocious on the zombie thing too.. they are awake far too often for me to censor entertainment and they basically have no fear. They’re only 3 and they’ve already been through some pretty scary haunted houses and beg for more. Maybe they’ll become horror directors when they’re older. That’s my new plan for them.

      1. kierren my oldest is same but there are worse things for them to watch like the news now that scary. what iv always do with him is said to him what is real and what is noot. but at same time still not taking away the value of santa tooth fairy ect. we had one time where he really proved this. when i took him to see harry potter at cinema. we where coming out when lady starts having ago saying i damage him ect. he looked at lady politly got her attention and said this not real so why would it scare me. and if it was based on real story then we would know as we know that there are real wizzards and witches. so he still belives in magic ect but he knows fact from fiction with tv. he loved it when i took him to sifi shows seeing all zoonbies which would scare alot of kids. and seeing all others dressed up asking about make up ect.hope alls well and keep good work up.

  26. Yes I have been in more than one rut in my lifetime. One involved living with a man with 4 cats who I realised he loved more than me! So I upped and left him, and in the process bought my first house. TERRIFYING! The other involved a friend gently enquiring into the state of my mental health for me to realise that it wasn’t that good (bad reaction to the contraceptive I was on) and spent the next three years on anti depressants and learning how to live with that.

    Two important things I learnt, you have to realise you are in a rut *and* you have to want to change that situation. Knowing you are in a rut can be easy and its a comfortable place to be in. Its scary and hard work to take a step into the unknown and you have to want it and work at it.

    The other thing I realised its that everyone is messed up in their heads, they just keep quiet about it Its not done to talk about it and thats wrong. Its OK to be in a bad place and be working towards changing that. Sometimes you need to tell people this so they can help you. I suspect I don’t have to tell you this but don’t care about what other people think of you, care about yourself and your situation. Do something that makes you feel good every day, sit in the sunshine for a bit, eat chocolate biscuits, play with a puppy or kitten, walk on the beach. Small things that give you a brief moment of mental peace 🙂

    I know your situation is hard, I understand it better than you could imagine, as I live in a city where half of it has been badly damaged in earthquakes over the last couple of years, and many people live in houses with sewage problems, that are broken literally in half, sunk into the ground, and have no running water or toilet facilities. I have been very lucky and my place is OK.

    Be Strong. Be Awesome. Write your pain and be FP again! Congrats and good luck 🙂

    1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. And i am sorry to hear you’ve been through so much yourself. I do remind myself often that we could have had it worse; certainly a city damaged by earthquakes where recovery is slow and everything is uncertain is worse.
      And you are 100% right that everyone has their issues. I think that’s the benefit of putting your story out there. If you keep it to yourself it’s easy to get all twisted up about it, but once you write about it, everyone says “ME TOO” and you realize you’re not alone.
      You are also right about the element of desire to get out. I think my rut helped me cope for a long time and there’s no way I could have handled any kind of momentum. Maybe it was more like a cocoon?
      Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting.

  27. Congrats on your Freshly Pressed status! This post was definitely worthy of it…

    I am on a non-plan plan. So far it has worked for me. I’ve gotten a few things done here and there, and don’t have any list that is holding me back from trying me stuff.

    Of course, I could just be saying this to cover the fact that I haven’t actually accomplished anything…

    1. Thanks Ms. Tonic! I am not much of a planner myself, but I have realized that drifting through life entirely without direction isn’t helping me get to my ultimate goal of cabana boys and full-time hammocking. Surprisingly, my husband isn’t pushing me in that direction either, I have no idea why.
      I do think you have a point about being open though, when you don’t know exactly what you want it’s a good idea to keep your mind and heart open to everything that comes your way.

    1. No joke! I am so sad I missed that chance to meet you and the others…some day I will tell the story of my serious subway miscalculation and the misdirection of greenwich village, but I still haven’t figured out entirely where I went wrong.

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